One of my "life lessons" I've learned this year is that you're never too old to ask for help. I've been struggling a lot lately with happiness. Sometimes I'm not happy and I feel guilty because I have so much. I've been thinking a lot about Pres. Uchtdorf's talk in conference about how our circumstances don't dictate our happiness and how we have to train ourselves to look for the good in each day. Happiness is an action word. I thought a lot about what I could do to be better at this and I decided that I needed to improve my self-talk. Once something goes wrong, a string of negative thoughts pour into my mind and soon I'm convinced that life is over because I can't keep up with the laundry (dirty clothes=incomplete outfits=me comparing myself with other moms whose kids are really cute=those moms must know something I don't know=here's a list of 5,000 other things I'm not good at=why try=life is over). You get the picture? It's awful to be in my brain sometimes.
So I decided to ask someone for their advice when it comes to stopping negative self-talk. And that someone was....Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I've listened to her for about four years and never thought I'd actually have a question of my own, until today. And yes, I got through. And we talked. And when she heard that I had four children under the age of five, she laughed. And then she gave me the best advice I've ever heard. She told me that after our chat, which included some details of my childhood, she made an assumption about me. Her assumption was that at the root of everything I do, my greatest desire is to be loved and approved of. I swallowed a lump in my throat and said, "Sounds right." Then she said that when I was a kid, I tried to be perfect in order to be loveable and that has carried on into my adulthood. Her challenge for me was to "BE LOVEABLE, NOT PERFECT." She said that as a mother and wife, I was never going to be perfect. All I needed to do was be loveable, especially in the stressful moments. She told me to talk out loud to myself when the negative thoughts start and nip them in the bud. And secondly, she told me to prepare early for everything. Especially with small children, the earlier I get ready for a deadline, the better.
Good, sound advice that I'll never forget. I had planned to give her a false name because I was a bit embarrassed to call, but really excited too. Then in my excitement I forgot and said my name. And then to throw out all anonymity, my call was dubbed "call of the day,"on October 12th so anyone can listen to my private plea for help!
So I decided to ask someone for their advice when it comes to stopping negative self-talk. And that someone was....Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I've listened to her for about four years and never thought I'd actually have a question of my own, until today. And yes, I got through. And we talked. And when she heard that I had four children under the age of five, she laughed. And then she gave me the best advice I've ever heard. She told me that after our chat, which included some details of my childhood, she made an assumption about me. Her assumption was that at the root of everything I do, my greatest desire is to be loved and approved of. I swallowed a lump in my throat and said, "Sounds right." Then she said that when I was a kid, I tried to be perfect in order to be loveable and that has carried on into my adulthood. Her challenge for me was to "BE LOVEABLE, NOT PERFECT." She said that as a mother and wife, I was never going to be perfect. All I needed to do was be loveable, especially in the stressful moments. She told me to talk out loud to myself when the negative thoughts start and nip them in the bud. And secondly, she told me to prepare early for everything. Especially with small children, the earlier I get ready for a deadline, the better.
Good, sound advice that I'll never forget. I had planned to give her a false name because I was a bit embarrassed to call, but really excited too. Then in my excitement I forgot and said my name. And then to throw out all anonymity, my call was dubbed "call of the day,"on October 12th so anyone can listen to my private plea for help!
Something else that makes me happy: bum cheeks.
I promised myself I'd never put this stuff on my house. And then I had kids.
Look at those yummy rolls.
On Saturday we made these yummy Halloween treats that
turned hard as rock minutes after we finished.
Grateful for these life lessons that help me grow. Grateful for the wisdom of others.
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